[dear katelyn]

Two of my very favorite shots from our mini family session this past weekend…

My Dear Katelyn,

You are such a delight to me!  I praise God every single day that he allows me to be your mom.  You are a ray of sunshine!  My prayer for you is that you would rest in the knowledge that you are a daughter of the King!  May you find peace in knowing you are created perfectly in His image.  I read some wise words last week that I want to share with you as you continue to grow into a beautiful young lady…

-Do not worry about being popular.  Just be a friend to the friendless.

-Do not worry about the boys who don’t notice you.  Wait patiently for the one God created with you in mind.

-Do not worry about being as good as someone else.  Just be the best you can be.

-Do not worry about your past mistakes.  They do not define you.

-Do not worry about disappointing me.  Being your mom is the joy of my heart.

-Do not worry when something seems hopeless.  The God of all hope and comfort is in control.  [from the MODSquad blog 10/11/12]

You see, the world is always going to try and bring you down and tell you are not enough.  Don’t listen.  You are more than enough because you have the living God dwelling within you.  Do not fear the future.  God has perfect plans for you and in his perfect time they will be revealed.  In the meantime, keep seeking God with your whole heart.  Search for him and you will find him.  Talk to him and learn from him.

You are loved fiercely. 

With all my love,

Mom

[run]

I am extremely hesitant to share what I’m about to write because the conclusion to this story has yet to be written and is somewhat uncertain.  I’d much rather share after I know I’ve been successful!  But, this is already a beautiful story of how God is constantly shaping my life, of how he loves me enough to force me out of my comfort zone and how he uses situations in our past to bring us to perfect redemption.  It’s a story too beautiful not to share.

Now that I’ve hopefully captured you attention… [drumroll please!]

I’ve decided to give running a try (again!).

My story with running starts back when I was in high school.  I had a friend who was a runner who convinced me that I should join the cross country team with her because they were short of members.  Why I agreed I have no idea, but the first meet came shortly thereafter – before I had much time to train.  The meet consisted of two races – one for the ladies and then a guy’s race that followed.  I lined up with my fellow competitors and set off for what would become one of the most grueling experiences.  It did not take me long to realize that I was not prepared and as the race went on, I fell further and further behind to the point where most of the girls had finished, the guy’s race had begun and I was not sure I was even going to be able to finish.

At some point in the race, I must’ve run past where my parents were watching because before I knew it, my Dad was running alongside me – in his dress shoes, no less! – helping me get to the finish line.  I did finish that race – my one and only race as a cross country team member – just slightly before the guys starting coming across the finish line.

I was mortified and for the longest time, if you would’ve asked me what my most embarrassing moment was, I would’ve shared that story.  I was embarrassed that I had done so poorly and that the only way I was able to finish was because my Dad ran with me.

Eventually, though, as the years passed by, I began to realize what a gift my Dad had given me that day and stopped seeing that race as such an embarrassment.

But … I had absolutely no desire to ever run again.

In my mind, I had failed and I was not willing to repeat the experience.

Of course, God had other plans!

This past weekend we had our neighbors over for a family photo session and pizza and as we were sitting around the table following dinner, my neighbor and I started talking about bucket lists – things we’d like to accomplish or try sometime in our life.  One of her things was to run a mini marathon and before I knew it, I was agreeing, saying that I too would love to run some type of race.  I’ve seen and heard about people I know training for and running various races and I’ve always wished I was a better runner.  But I had allowed that experience from high school – always in the back of my mind – to keep me from feeling like it was something that I could actually do.

The very next day after our dinner together, I came across a post written on one of the blogs I follow about a wife and mom close in age to me who had recently decided to train for a 5K.  She described some of her insecurities and fears – all of which I could relate to.  But what really struck a chord with me was how part of the reason she decided to take on the challenge was because she wanted to be an example to her kids.  She talked about her constant attempts to encourage them to try new things and get out of their comfort zones and be brave, yet she wasn’t doing any of those things herself.  She realized that if she wanted her kids to try things that might be difficult or uncomfortable, she had to be willing to put herself out there as well.

I read the post through tears and mutual understanding and then forwarded it on to my neighbor to read.  Her response was immediate – “When do we start training?”  We made plans to begin this week.

This series of events wasn’t enough for God, however.  There was more he wanted to do – this time in my heart and my spiritual journey.

Another day went by along with a follow-up post on the same blog.  This time the woman – who had run the 5K the previous day – was sharing her thoughts as well as the specifics of the race itself.  She shared about how her husband chose to run the race as well, even though he rarely had time to train, disliked running because of an old injury and didn’t even own a good pair of running shoes.  They had decided ahead of time that they would each run their own race because she knew he’d be faster and didn’t want to hold him back.  As the race began, he quickly went out ahead of her, but only ahead by enough so that he was always in her sights.  Throughout the race, she knew that he was setting the pace for her … silently leading her along, willing her not to quit.  When he crossed the finish line, he immediately stopped and looked her direction, waiting for her to finish the race as well.

What I loved about her story was the way she was able to relate that experience with her husband and that race, to the way God runs the race of life with each of his children.  He knows what we need and is willing to be there with us with each step we take!

What God did for me in that moment of reading someone else’s experience, was remind me of that race in high school – the one I thought I had failed at.  In an instant the entire experience was completely reshaped in my memory.  Instead of seeing it as an embarrassment and failure, God showed me that by running alongside me through the remainder of the race, my earthly Dad was being an example of my Heavenly Dad.  Just as my earthly Dad ran beside me to help me in my time of need – without any thought to what he was wearing (dress shoes!) or what any one thought – so my Heavenly Dad gives everything to help me as well.  Both love me and believe in me enough to be right beside me.

And so, given the way God has orchestrated the circumstances of the past few days, I can’t not run.  This is my opportunity not only to show my kids that I have the courage to try something I’m really afraid I’m going to be bad at, but also to remind myself that my God promises to be beside, before and behind me every step of the way.

And I’m happy to report that my neighbor and I set out last night on our very first run/walk.  We walked and ran in short intervals and although the first run was particularly difficult and we were both tired, the second one was easier and we both finished the evening feeling pretty empowered.

And isn’t that the way it is with God as well?  His presence empowers us … to keep pressing on, to do the hard thing when it’s asked of us, to lay aside our pride and try something we might not be good at, to be vulnerable in our relationships with one another, to choose joy when we’d rather curl into the fetal position and feel sorry for ourselves.

One step at a time… stride for stride… my God and I…

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress.  And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.  [Hebrews 12:1]

…journey to be continued…

[And no, the picture really has nothing to do with my story, but since this part of my journey begins in the fall, I thought it was appropriate!  Change is in the air!  And what’s a photo blog without a photo?]

[a first]

Yesterday, for the first time, I sat in the tree stand with my boy and I learned (or was reminded of) a few things in the process…

1.  Hunting is kind of boring

2.  Tree stands are not very comfortable

3.  Climbing up a very tall, skinny ladder is a little scary

4.  It is hard, as a mom, to not feel extremely overprotective of my son in that tree stand that is high off the ground

5.  Being still and quiet for long periods of time is not easy

6.  My son has more courage than I give him credit for

7.  It is very gratifying to watch your child doing something they love

8.  Children feel very blessed when their parents are willing to actively participate in what they enjoy

9.  Our woods are truly beautiful in the fall

10.  It is definitely a privilege to be Andrew’s mom

[me just thinking]

 

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”  [Steven Pressfield]

Confession time – I constantly struggle with self doubt … about my purpose in this world, about how other people view me, about my worth and value, etc., etc., etc.  The list could go on.

One of the areas I struggle with most, however, is in the area of my photography.  I love photography!  I love being able to capture God’s beauty all around me and I find great pleasure in finding something that seems rather ordinary to the eye and turning it into art.  There’s just something about it that feeds my soul.  And I think I’ve learned enough over the past couple of years to think I’m decent at it.

But I’m constantly struggling with the thought that I’m not good enough.  That I have no business thinking I have any talent or skill with my camera.  That no one really cares what I’m producing.  That so-and-so could and does do it so much better than I do.  That there’s no room for little old me in the photography world.

The constant battle is exhausting really and so rather than fight it any longer, I just gradually start to pull away from what I love.

Yesterday, however, I stumbled upon an article in which the author talked about the book, "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield.  In his book, Pressfield discusses the idea of “resistance” – a common problem for those who are either in the business of or simply enjoy the act of creating something.

The article was not written from a Christian standpoint, but as I read it, it was very easy to recognize this idea of resistance as the direct work of the Enemy.

…the constant self doubt

…the voices that tell you you’re not good enough

…the feeling like you should just give up

…the thought that no one is interested in your creations

I spent the rest of the day pondering that article because it struck a chord with me.  I’ve had people ask me if I’d ever consider going into business or if I’d be willing to take pictures for them and my answer is typically no.  I truly don’t feel called to go into business, however, I feel that a lot of the reason why I’m quick to say no is due to fear … due to the resistance I constantly feel about my work.

It’s no secret that Satan’s goal is to steal, kill and destroy and I wonder if the reason he sets out to resist creative work is because the act of creating anything is typically an outpouring of the heart … the outpouring of oneself.  I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I admit that when I use my camera to capture or create, it is extremely personal.  My heart typically guides my photography.  I suspect the same is true for the person who paints or draws or sews or writes or anyone who creates anything.

Our hearts are the center of who we are.  It’s what makes us unique.  It’s what draws us closer to God if we know him personally.  Wouldn’t it make sense if that’s the area that Satan would want to attack?  That he would love nothing more than for us to stop sharing our hearts with those around us.  When we create something, it’s an opportunity to share our hearts.  Of course, the Enemy would have us believe that we have nothing to offer!  When we believe the lies, we begin to close off our hearts to others and we stop sharing what only we can offer – ourselves and our unique perspective.

I’ll admit, I’m still mulling all of this over in my mind and have yet to discover what it means for my own personal journey, but I do know one thing … I cannot allow the Enemy to keep me from doing what I love.  I believe that God gave me the desire to create and I believe that he knows whether that desire will ever lead to anything other than what I’m currently doing.  In the meantime, I am going to try saying “yes” more – “yes” to new opportunities, “yes” to doing the work, “yes” to sharing my heart through my pictures, “yes” to being grateful for the opportunity I have to create.

“God measures our success with the yardsticks of obedience, faithfulness, and righteousness.  If you are faithfully doing the work God has given you, you are successful in his eyes.”  [from the commentary section of my Bible in the book of Jeremiah]

[authentic worship]

 

Not everything feels like a gift from God.  But I’m learning that if I count gifts on a daily basis, the things that don’t seem like gifts, actually are.  It’s easy to thank God for things like my family, food on our table, our home, a beautiful sunny day, words of encouragement from a friend, etc.  But what about thanking him for the two boys in my son’s gym class who think it’s fun to pick on him for being smaller?  Or the times when my life feels small and insignificant – when it seems the most important thing I did all day was start and finish the laundry?  At first glance, it’s easy to miss those circumstances as gifts.  But the bullying in gym class is a gift because it teaches my son courage in the face of adversity and reliance on God when he feels alone.  No, it’s not fun to endure the ridicule of others, but when he claims the truths of scripture – “I command you – be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) – as he walks out the door in the morning … is that not a gift?  And those times when I am lonely and I wonder if there will ever be more to my life than laundry and dishes and chores … those are gifts as well!  Because it’s in those moments that God reminds me that when I serve my family, I serve Him.  It’s when I’m feeling low because I see other people doing “big things” in the world that God whispers how important motherhood is to him.  That he sees me and knows me.  That I do not work in vain.  That I’m applauded by an audience of One.

…everything is a gift from God!

That’s authentic worship.

[beauty]

 

Beauty is about

authenticity not applause

character not cosmetics

thoughtfulness not thinness

modesty not modeling

purity not perfection

kindness not keeping up

reality not running away

wisdom not wildness

servanthood not sexiness

influence not imitation

unmasking not masking

being you not being theirs

(from the MODSquad.com blog 4/12)

 

Oh how I pray for the heart of my girl … that she would embrace what beauty is, not what it isn’t.

[only God]

 

I feel as though I’m bursting with excitement over the things God is teaching me lately and the ways he is caring for my heart.  You see, my kids go back to school next week, which is always a difficult time for this Momma who truly prefers to have her little birdies close to the nest, so to speak.  This year feels particularly hard in part because Andrew starts high school, Matthew starts middle school and it is the first year that we have three kids in three different schools.  There are days when this stage of our family feels overwhelming … when I wish I could just put the brakes on and slow life down a bit.

Through it all … the depression I’ve struggled with this summer, the anxiety about the unknown, the anticipation of a different sort of normal … God has been faithful!  He’s given me verses, songs, devotionals, books, messages at church and conversations with friends and family that have calmed my heart and fears at exactly the right moment.

And I am so grateful!

A few weeks ago, when I was in the midst of a particularly low point, he gave me Isaiah 42:16…

I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way.  I will make the darkness bright before them and smooth out the road ahead of them.  Yes, I will indeed do these things; I will not forsake them.

What made this verse so significant to me is the fact that it specifically spoke to some of my biggest fears for sending the kids to school (specifically high school) …

newness

unfamiliarity

the darkness of a large, public high school

the possibility for trials

In the less than a minute it took for me to read those words, my fears were exposed and the truth of who God is and what he wants to do in the lives of my kids was illuminated.  I won’t say that I still don’t have moments of panic, but I feel so much more at peace (thus the verse I chose for the photo above) with our situation.

Only God…

Another lesson learned from a weed…

God has a way of using nature to get my attention.  This week, he used a simple weed to teach me some very valuable lessons and change my perspective in some areas of my life in which I’ve been struggling.  To help me explain, I want to once again, introduce you to my friend, Heidi.  You may remember her guest post from a few weeks ago in which she shared about her new book, The Secret to Counting Gifts.

Yesterday Heidi shared a post on her blog about drought and Queen Anne’s Lace that resonated with me in some pretty specific ways.  She has graciously given me permission to repost her words here.  I’ve included them at the end of this post … my prayer is that they will encourage your heart like they did mine.

Before I get to the words, however, please enjoy the Queen Anne’s Lace that I captured yesterday…

*******

How to Bloom in a Drought by Heidi Kreider

Mentioning that we’re in an epic drought is kinda like stating the obvious, right now. I think most of the US is facing a drought, the likes of which haven’t been seen in a while. It’s dry. It’s dusty. It’s hot.

And, yet…

… this wasn’t here when my kids last mowed the lawn 6 weeks ago.

I know… it’s a weed, commonly called Queen Anne’s Lace or Wild Carrot. And, right now, it is smack-dab in the middle of the dead grass that used to be my lawn… sitting there all by its lonesome blooming like crazy. Does it know that we stopped watering weeks ago to conserve our well? Has it heard the forecast of another day topping out around 100*? Does it realize that nothing around it is blooming?

Last night, I sat and marveled at this little white weed blooming in my dead yard. Silent tears streamed down my parched heart and flowed down my dry face.

How can it be that in the midst of the dry and the dead, it quietly grows?
How can a weed grow and bloom when my flowers have long since died?
How can a blooming weed speak to this arid heart?

I’m still not sure I have all the answers to those questions but I am confident that I have much to learn from this little tenacious weed blooming in a drought…

…bloom where you are planted…

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stand in the path of the sinners,
nor sit in the seat of the scoffers

God didn’t place this little weed in the center of a lovely garden. If He did, it would have been plucked with all the other weeds. It wouldn’t have been given the opportunity to bloom. Instead, the Master Gardner placed it where it would stand out and be noticed. He placed it where it would bloom and point to Him. He placed it where He saw fit for it to grow.

…bloom through your roots…

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and in his law he meditates day and night

Obviously, this little weed needs little to grow. It’s roots know just how far to go to find the moisture to sustain and grow. It’s roots know where to look for that moisture and it isn’t sidetracked looking somewhere else. When the seed of this plant fell in the midst of my yard, it knew exactly how to grow the roots that would later bring the blossoms. This drought hasn’t deterred this little weed because it blooms through it’s roots.

…bloom with your own blossoms…

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in its own season
and its leaf does not wither;
and in whatever he does, he prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3

A wild carrot doesn’t aspire to be a petunia or a tulip. It doesn’t try to make its self over to be a rose or a peony. Instead, it blooms with the blossoms it has been given. It blooms the way it was created to bloom, with the blossom that has been uniquely given to the plant we call Queen Anne’s Lace.

******

Some of the things I regularly struggle with are feelings of invisibility and insignificance …feeling like I don’t matter and am not doing anything worth noticing.  I constantly fight an inner battle where I feel as though I don’t fit in anywhere.  And when I’m feeling exceptionally low, my heart begins to go through a drought, much like the one our area of the country is currently experiencing.  Unfortunately that has been the state of my heart in recent weeks.

So when I read Heidi’s words yesterday, my heart felt watered.

…”God didn’t place this little weed in the center of a lovely garden. …Instead the Master Gardner placed it where it would stand out and be noticed.  He placed it where it would bloom and point to him.  He placed it where he saw fit for it to grow.”

God has a specific plan for my life that does not need to look like the plans he has for others.  Just like the Queen Anne’s Lace, he has placed me exactly where he wants me to be … where I can shine and point to him.  That place might not be center stage in front of a big audience … it might be center stage in front of an audience of one.  And that’s okay.

…”A wild carrot doesn’t aspire to be a petunia or a tulip.  It doesn’t try to make its self over to be a rose or a peony.  Instead it blooms with the blossoms it has been given.”

I needed this reminder.  I have got to stop comparing myself to all the other flowers in the garden.  God doesn’t ask me to be something I’m not.  He does, however, ask me to bloom with the blossoms I’ve been given.  Everything I need to bloom has been given to me.  All I have to do is let my roots soak up the nourishment of truth from the Master Gardener.

I will probably never look at Queen Anne’s Lace the same again.  In fact, since taking the above pictures in my own yard and opening my heart to the lesson God taught me through this unassuming weed, I’ve been spotting them everywhere.  Just another reminder that God’s truth is everywhere … if only I will just open my eyes and heart to it.

just some thoughts…

Maybe it’s because it’s summer or because we’ve only been back from vacation for a week, but either way I’ve been floundering a bit.  I can’t seem to get into a routine – which is when I flourish – and I’m struggling to find time to be still and quiet.  My devotional time is consistently being put on the back burner (i.e. quickly being done right before bed) and I’m just feeling like I’m drifting along without purpose.

When I try reading my Bible or other devotionals that I typically enjoy, the words don’t seem to penetrate my heart like usual.  I’m dry.  And thirsty.

Kind of like the world around me. 

This summer has been marked by a lot of extremely warm days (think 100+ degrees) and very little rain.  The grass has been dead for weeks now and the flowers are kept alive only by twice a day waterings from our hose.  Without that regular watering, they’d surely be dead as well.  In fact, for the past few days we’ve been struggling to revive the hanging baskets on our porch that were neglected while we were on vacation.  Without a daily watering, they quickly became dry and parched.  The flowers stopped blooming and the green vines became withered and brown.

Kind of like my heart.  If I’m not careful.  Despite the fact that I don’t feel like watering my soul with a daily dose of scripture and quiet time, I must do it anyway if I want to bloom and be healthy.

Jesus Calling:  July 6

I am your Father-God.  Listen to Me!  Learn what it means to be a child of the everlasting King.  Your richest duty is devotion to Me.  This duty is such a joyous privilege that it feels like a luxury.  You tend to feel guilty about pushing back the boundaries of your life to make space for time alone with Me.  The world is waiting to squeeze you into its mold and to crowd out time devoted to Me.   The ways of the world have also warped your conscience, which punishes you for doing the very thing that pleases Me most; seeking My Face.  Listen to Me above the clamor of voices trying to distract you.  Ask My Spirit to control your mind, for He and I work in perfect harmony.  Be still and attentive in My Presence.  You are on holy ground.

Isaiah 9:6;  Zechariah 9:9;  Romans 8:15-16;  Exodus 3:5

I belong!

I read the following quote today in a very poignant blog post by Ann Voskamp that touched my heart immensely…

“All my brokenness is a whisper that I don’t belong, and every time I don’t feel like I belong, the Scarred and Rejected God whispers, “Come here, my Beloved.”  (Ann Voskamp)

Not feeling like I belong has been a recurring theme in my life this past year and so this particular truth fell upon me like fresh, cool water on a heart in need of some refreshment.

“Come here, my beloved.”

Yes, Lord.  I’m coming!

What God taught me through a baby bird…

Two weeks ago while trimming some severely overgrown bushes in front of our house, we discovered a bird’s nest.  Upon further examination, we were thrilled to discover that the nest contained three little speckled eggs.

We immediately stopped our trimming and left the nest alone with the hopes that the disruption we had caused wouldn’t affect the eventual hatching of the eggs.  In the meantime, however, I was personally going through a hard time emotionally.  For weeks, I would find myself feeling sad and depressed and although I thought I initially knew the cause, as time went on and I didn’t feel any better, I just couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so out of sorts.  Each day I went through the motions, awaiting the day when I would wake up and feel like myself again.

Meanwhile, several days after we discovered the nest, my husband thought he saw movement inside so we all trekked outside to take a look.  I took along my camera (of course!) and a chair in case I needed to get higher to see inside.  As soon as I climbed up and aimed my camera, this was what greeted me…  Precious, huh?

Photography has been such a gift over the years because it has taught me so much … how to see the world with a different perspective, how to appreciate the little details, how to have confidence in my abilities, how to capture the seemingly insignificant moments in life, etc.  This time, however, God used my love of photography to remind me about his character which eventually brought me out of that period of discouragement.

The following day after capturing the baby birds with my camera for the first time, I sat at my computer and went through each image one-by-one, marveling at the gift of new life and the blessing it was to observe it first hand.  As I looked at and edited the image below, however, I felt God telling me that I needed to mimic the posture of that helpless baby bird.  You see, the bird couldn’t see anything at this point in its young life, however, when it sensed my presence, it immediately lifted it’s head and open it’s mouth anticipating a meal.  The bird trusted that if it’s mouth was opened wide, good things would come.

In the same way, God reminded me that if I, too, would open myself up and trust that good things would come, he would satisfy my needs as well.  And even though I wasn’t even sure what my needs were, he knew!  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  But God also knew that I needed that visual picture of the baby bird’s posture to remind me that God wants to fill my life with good things!  And when I speak of good things, I’m not talking about the material things of this world.  That wasn’t what I wanted and it isn’t what I needed.  For me, “good things” means:  peace, contentment, the reminder of God’s faithfulness, friendship, love, a deeper relationship with God, patience, truth, security in who I am, etc.  Those are the good things that I believe God wants to fill me with.

As cool as that is, the story doesn’t end there.  If it wasn’t enough for God to give me that visual representation of his care for me, he also confirmed the truth through my quiet time the next day.

I am currently working through my second year of reading through the Bible in a year.  I use a daily reading plan to keep me on track which means I don’t choose which passages to read each day – the plan lays it all out ahead of time.  On this particular day, a day after God used the picture of the baby bird to bring me out of my discouragement, one of my assigned chapters was Psalm 81.  I read the first several verses but was stunned when I came to verse 10…

For it was I, the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt.  OPEN YOUR MOUTH WIDE, AND I WILL FILL IT WITH GOOD THINGS (emphasis mine).  I couldn’t believe my eyes!  Open your mouth wide and I will fill it with good things?  Did it really say that?  Those were almost the exact same words God spoke to me when I first looked at the picture of the baby bird and there they were on the page of my Bible!  And further, next to the verse were the words I had written last year when I read that portion of Scripture, “picture a baby bird with it’s mouth open wide, waiting for food from it’s momma.”  Wow!

I’ve been a Christ-follower long enough that I shouldn’t be surprised when things like this happen.  Yet, there I sat … stunned!  Not only had God given me a clear, visual picture of what my relationship with him should look like, he confirmed it nearly word-for-word through Scripture.  I stand amazed!

Now in all honesty, I debated about whether or not to share this experience here in such a public forum.  But when it came down to it, I couldn’t not share it.  Publish his glorious deeds among the nations.  Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.  Psalm 96:3 (And that was part of my assigned reading from yesterday!)

God is alive and active!  God is at work in my heart!  God wants us to trust him!  God is relational!  God is personal!  God wants to fill us with good things!

How can I not share that?

For it was I, the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt.  Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.  Psalm 81:10

creativity

One of my very favorite blogs is Ann Voskamp’s A Holy Experience.  I love it mostly because I always learn something, am always encouraged, and am often challenged to see things in a different way.  Yesterday she shared a post about how to foster creativity, which was wonderful and comes highly recommended by yours truly.

I’ve always considered myself a creative person.  When I was a girl I was constantly creating cards or notes for my parents and one of my favorite activities was to cut pictures out of magazines, glue them onto paper and create my own magazine.  I’d write stories and advertisements and then staple all the papers together for my very own “publication.” 

One of my very favorite memories from childhood is of spending the night at a friend’s house when I was twelve years old.  We had recently experienced a death in our family and I was struggling with it.  I couldn’t sleep that night and so my friend and I sat up in the middle of the night and wrote songs based on verses in the book Psalms.  That act of creativity calmed me and helped me get through a difficult childhood experience.

Perhaps that’s why I fell in love with photography.  It taps into the creative side of my personality that can easily be shoved to the back burner in order to make room for all the responsibilities and duties that come with being a wife and mom and it also calms my heart and can many times encourage me when I’m feeling down about a particular circumstance.

I love creating, not only with my camera but in the editing process as well.  One of my favorite things to do is to take an ordinary picture and turn into a work of art.  I can’t explain the joy that brings me.  It’s just part of who I am.

But there can also be fear associated with creativity.  What if no one likes what I’ve created?  What if it’s not ‘good enough?’  What if someone criticizes my work?  These are all questions that play out in my mind when I’m feeling my most vulnerable.

Ann shared some thoughts on being creative in her post yesterday that encouraged me … maybe they’ll encourage you as well …

“Creativity, it’s good theology; it’s what God did in the beginning.”

“The essence of creativity is essentially risk, believing enough to leap into the yet unseen.  The theological term for this is faith.”

“When we stop fearing failure, we start being artists.”

“The only trees that ever grow tall keep relentlessly stretching into unknown territory.”

“Bury your fear in faith.  Otherwise you bury your talents.”

Little Miss Cutie Pie

Katelyn’s hair is getting super long so we’ve been experimenting with different hair styles.  Yesterday’s style looked so cute that we had to capture a few shots before school…

It’s such a blessing to have such a lovely model living right here under my roof!

Unfortunately there is another side of the story … I literally had a minute – maybe two – to capture these shots before we needed to leave for school.  Since we live in the woods, our house doesn’t get a ton of natural light in every room, however, we do have a sunroom that tends to be pretty bright.  So I positioned her towards the sliding glass doors to ensure that there was enough light on her face.  I checked my settings on my camera and snapped away, but in every single shot Katelyn was squinting her eyes (or so I thought!).  After repeatedly asking her to stop squinting and open her eyes, I got frustrated and she ended up in tears.  Not exactly the “mini session” I had in mind.

Needless to say, this Momma had to do some major apologizing for loosing her cool over something so petty. 

And then, as if I weren’t feeling guilty enough, when I uploaded the pictures to my computer, I realized that I had actually captured some pretty great shots – with her eyes open!

Note to self:  don’t try to take pictures of the kids in a hurry, stay calm and don’t overreact, and perhaps most important, trying to capture the “perfect” shot of my kids is never more important than their feelings.

Point taken!

[Linking up with Deb for This or That Thursday]

Current Favorites

Current favorite photo(s):

Current favorite quote:

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.  The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.  -Albert Einstein

Current favorite song:

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Current favorite verse(s):

1 Peter 3:8-9 … Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.  Don’t repay evil for evil.  Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing.  That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it.

Plans

 

I thought this was applicable for today…

Jesus Calling:  January 20 (Sarah Young)

Approach this day with an awareness of who is Boss.  As you make plans for the day, remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life.  On days when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence.  On days when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me!  I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected.  It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours.  Don’t try to figure out what is happening.  Simply trust Me and thank me in advance for the good that will come out of it all.  I know the plans I have for you, and they are good.

Isaiah 55:9-11; Jeremiah 29:11

My plan for the day involved cleaning, organizing and a quiet stillness.  God’s plan involved icy roads, no school, and lots of cozy together time with my kiddos!  Yep, His plans for me are good!

[linking with Deb for This or That Thursday]

2/52: Open

This was my submission for this week’s Project 52 theme which was open.  Long after the rest of the flowers from the bouquet had died, the Stargazer lilies finally opened in all their splendor.  But I’ve also been thinking of the word “open” in other terms as well…

Earlier this week we attended a parent orientation meeting at our local high school for all current 8th graders and their parents.  I went into the meeting feeling slightly anxious and left feeling a little overwhelmed.  I’m finding that there are so many emotions involved in sending our firstborn to high school this fall.  I’m sure I felt the same way when he I dropped him off for his first day of preschool or when he started kindergarten or just recently on his first day of middle school.  But there are also different emotions involved.  On one hand, I’m super excited to watch Andrew grow and mature and become all he was created to be and on the other hand, I’m aware that our time with him here in our home is becoming less and less.  And that the next five to ten years of his life will be filled with some pretty major life decisions.

Joel and I both feel strongly that it is our responsibility, as his parents, to guide him into this next stage of life, ensuring that he takes classes that are best suited to his talents and gifts … classes that will put him on a path towards his future.  The problem with that, however, is that he is a fourteen year old boy, living for today, with no clue what he wants to do with his life.  And the choices?  Oh, there were so many class options – even at the freshman level.  It was seriously overwhelming!

So what I keep coming back to is the fact that God knows.  God knows what Andrew will become.  And he also knows what the path looks like to get there.  With all my heart, I believe that God has a perfect plan for my life so why then would I have trouble believing the same for my kids?  Yes, I want to be in control, but God is reminding me that it is not my job to be in control.  It is my job to be open to what God has in store for Andrew – not only in high school, but now and for the rest of his life.

It sounds so simple doesn’t it?  Trust God.  How hard can that be?  [*wink]

January 12:  Jesus Calling (Sarah Young)

Let me prepare you for the day (or year) that stretches out before you.  I know exactly what this day (or year) will contain, whereas you have only vague ideas about it.  You would like to see a map, showing all the twists and turns of your (or your son’s) journey.  You’d feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize what is on the road ahead.  However, there is a better way to be prepared for whatever you (or he) will encounter today (or in the future):  Spend quality time with  me.

I will not show you (or him) what is on the road ahead, but I will thoroughly equip you (or your son) for your (his) journey.  My living Presence is your (his) Companion each step of the way.  Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name whenever you need to redirect your thoughts.  Thus, you can walk through this day (or year) with your focus on Me.  My abiding Presence is the best road map available.

Exodus 33:14; John 15:4-7

(parentheses mine)

Jesus Calling: January 1, 2012

 

Come to Me with a teachable spirit, eager to be changed.  A close walk with Me is a life of continual newness.  Do not cling to old ways as you step into a new year.  Instead, seek My Face with an open mind, knowing that your journey with Me involves being transformed by the renewing of your mind.  As you focus your thoughts on Me, be aware that I am fully attentive to you.  I see you with a steady eye, because My attention span is infinite.  I know and understand you completely; My thoughts embrace you in everlasting Love.  I also know the plans I have for you:  plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence.

Romans 12:2; Jeremiah 29:11

Jesus Calling:  January 1

What better way to start the New Year then by coming before the Lord with a teachable spirit and a willingness to rest in His presence?  I can’t wait to see God’s plans for my life and for those that I love unfold before us in His perfect timing!

Happy New Year!

The Lights!

Without a doubt, my favorite Christmas decorations are the lights.  They are warm and inviting, twinkly and cheery.  In our house they come on first thing in the morning and stay on late into the night.  And this Christmas, I’ve discovered that I absolutely love reading my Bible and having my quiet time by the glow of Christmas lights.  I turn out all of the other lights in the house, light a candle, sit in my glider rocker near the Christmas tree with a blanket over my lap and enter into the presence of Christ.  It’s blissful!

[Christmas lights are also really fun to photograph!]

Our family is doing an advent Bible study each night before bed and this was one of our verses last night…

Before those people lived in darkness, but now they have seen a great light.  They lived in a dark land, but a light has shined on them… [Isaiah 9:2 NCV]

And our challenge for today was to allow the light of Christ to warm our hearts and to spread that warmth by shining our own lights as bright as we can to those around us.

I pray that the light of Christ warms your heart today as well!

A thankful attitude…

 

Jesus Calling:  November 22

A thankful attitude opens windows of heaven.  Spiritual blessings fall freely onto you through those openings into eternity.  Moreover, as you look up with a grateful heart, you get glimpses of Glory through those windows.  You cannot yet live in heaven, but you can experience foretastes of your ultimate home.  Such examples of heavenly fare revive your hope.  Thankfulness opens you up to these experiences, which then provide further reasons to be grateful.  Thus, your path becomes an upward spiral; ever increasing in gladness.

Thankfulness is not some sort of magic formula; it is the language of Love, which enables you to communicate intimately with Me.  A thankful mind-set does not entail a denial of reality with its plethora of problems.  Instead, it rejoices in Me, your Savior, in the midst of trials and tribulations.  I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present and well-proved help in trouble.

Habakkuk 3:17-18; Psalm 46:1

A lesson from a foggy morning…

I thought I’d share something that God taught me this past week:

Driving in thick fog can be a scary endeavor.  It’s never a comfortable feeling when you can’t see very far in front of you, when you’re crossing a lane of traffic and can’t see if anyone is coming in the other direction or when you don’t know what is in your path.  Driving a car in fog is a lot like flying an airplane through the clouds (or so I’ve been told!).  In either situation, you have to trust your instruments.

In an airplane, the pilot relies on a myriad of instruments to tell him if the plane is straight and level, if his speed is consistent and if he’s still on course.  Similarly, when driving a car through fog, the driver has to concentrate on things like the yellow stripes on the road, guardrails, even the side of the road where the pavement ends and the grass begins.

I’ve found that much of life is like flying through clouds or driving through fog – we can’t always see what lies ahead and that makes us uncomfortable and anxious.  And so we strive to control our world as much as possible because we don’t know how, or choose not, to trust our instruments.

Unlike the instruments in an airplane or car, however, that are capable of malfunction or user error, our instrument – the Lord, will never fail.  He will always lead us safely out of the fog to where we are supposed to go.  In fact, rather than think of the fog as an inconvenience or danger, we can be thankful for it because it forces us to trust God for the here and now as well as the future.

Keeping our focus on God’s presence in the present ensures that we not get so anxious about what we cannot see in our future.  Here is a recent example:

My oldest son has to be at the end of our driveway between 6:45 and 7:00 in the morning to catch his bus to school.  One day this week as we pulled out of the garage in the dark of the morning, we quickly realized that it was extremely foggy as well.  We proceeded down the driveway when all of a sudden through the dense fog, we realized that several large tree limbs and a large section of tree trunk had come down in the middle of the night and were now blocking our driveway.  Since it was almost time for the bus to arrive and my husband was still recovering from back surgery and was unable to lift anything, our only option was to try to move the tree sections ourselves.  After several attempts and with only minutes to spare before the bus arrived, we were able to move the limbs enough to get through.  We both got back in the van feeling rather exhilarated and proud about what we had just accomplished … we had encountered and obstacle in the darkness and fog and we had overcome it!

We talked about the situation several times throughout the day and into the evening, but I failed to see any powerful life application until the next morning when I opened my morning “Jesus Calling” devotional …

“As you look at the day before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions.  You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze.  Then you remember the One who is with you always, holding you by your right hand.  You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax.  As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view.  You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My presence.

The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment.  Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now.  Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you.” (Jesus Calling, Sarah Young)

I had personally never before seen much good in fog – the real kind that shrouds my vision and makes getting around difficult or the kind that clouds the future and makes me uncertain and anxious.  But now I see that fog can be a blessing.

Had that particular morning not been foggy and I had been able to see the large section of tree blocking my driveway, I probably would’ve become anxious and upset about how we were going to get out.  But because the morning was thick with fog, the obstacle was not revealed any sooner than it needed to be.  And in that moment when I was able to get a glimpse of what lay before me, there wasn’t even time to become concerned.  Instead I was able to instantly respond to the situation and work together with my son to remove the obstacle from my path so we could proceed forward.

Having my future covered in fog produces the same outcome.  It allows me to be fully engaged in the present rather than worrying about what may or may not happen in the future.  And it reminds me to trust in my God who will burn off the fog with his radiant brightness only when His timing is perfect.

I don’t think I’ll ever look at a foggy day the same way.  From now on, when I’m faced with a foggy morning or a foggy future, I hope that I will take that opportunity to thank God for the fog because I know that He uses it to protect me and teach me to trust Him more.