I am extremely hesitant to share what I’m about to write because the conclusion to this story has yet to be written and is somewhat uncertain. I’d much rather share after I know I’ve been successful! But, this is already a beautiful story of how God is constantly shaping my life, of how he loves me enough to force me out of my comfort zone and how he uses situations in our past to bring us to perfect redemption. It’s a story too beautiful not to share.
Now that I’ve hopefully captured you attention… [drumroll please!]
I’ve decided to give running a try (again!).
My story with running starts back when I was in high school. I had a friend who was a runner who convinced me that I should join the cross country team with her because they were short of members. Why I agreed I have no idea, but the first meet came shortly thereafter – before I had much time to train. The meet consisted of two races – one for the ladies and then a guy’s race that followed. I lined up with my fellow competitors and set off for what would become one of the most grueling experiences. It did not take me long to realize that I was not prepared and as the race went on, I fell further and further behind to the point where most of the girls had finished, the guy’s race had begun and I was not sure I was even going to be able to finish.
At some point in the race, I must’ve run past where my parents were watching because before I knew it, my Dad was running alongside me – in his dress shoes, no less! – helping me get to the finish line. I did finish that race – my one and only race as a cross country team member – just slightly before the guys starting coming across the finish line.
I was mortified and for the longest time, if you would’ve asked me what my most embarrassing moment was, I would’ve shared that story. I was embarrassed that I had done so poorly and that the only way I was able to finish was because my Dad ran with me.
Eventually, though, as the years passed by, I began to realize what a gift my Dad had given me that day and stopped seeing that race as such an embarrassment.
But … I had absolutely no desire to ever run again.
In my mind, I had failed and I was not willing to repeat the experience.
Of course, God had other plans!
This past weekend we had our neighbors over for a family photo session and pizza and as we were sitting around the table following dinner, my neighbor and I started talking about bucket lists – things we’d like to accomplish or try sometime in our life. One of her things was to run a mini marathon and before I knew it, I was agreeing, saying that I too would love to run some type of race. I’ve seen and heard about people I know training for and running various races and I’ve always wished I was a better runner. But I had allowed that experience from high school – always in the back of my mind – to keep me from feeling like it was something that I could actually do.
The very next day after our dinner together, I came across a post written on one of the blogs I follow about a wife and mom close in age to me who had recently decided to train for a 5K. She described some of her insecurities and fears – all of which I could relate to. But what really struck a chord with me was how part of the reason she decided to take on the challenge was because she wanted to be an example to her kids. She talked about her constant attempts to encourage them to try new things and get out of their comfort zones and be brave, yet she wasn’t doing any of those things herself. She realized that if she wanted her kids to try things that might be difficult or uncomfortable, she had to be willing to put herself out there as well.
I read the post through tears and mutual understanding and then forwarded it on to my neighbor to read. Her response was immediate – “When do we start training?” We made plans to begin this week.
This series of events wasn’t enough for God, however. There was more he wanted to do – this time in my heart and my spiritual journey.
Another day went by along with a follow-up post on the same blog. This time the woman – who had run the 5K the previous day – was sharing her thoughts as well as the specifics of the race itself. She shared about how her husband chose to run the race as well, even though he rarely had time to train, disliked running because of an old injury and didn’t even own a good pair of running shoes. They had decided ahead of time that they would each run their own race because she knew he’d be faster and didn’t want to hold him back. As the race began, he quickly went out ahead of her, but only ahead by enough so that he was always in her sights. Throughout the race, she knew that he was setting the pace for her … silently leading her along, willing her not to quit. When he crossed the finish line, he immediately stopped and looked her direction, waiting for her to finish the race as well.
What I loved about her story was the way she was able to relate that experience with her husband and that race, to the way God runs the race of life with each of his children. He knows what we need and is willing to be there with us with each step we take!
What God did for me in that moment of reading someone else’s experience, was remind me of that race in high school – the one I thought I had failed at. In an instant the entire experience was completely reshaped in my memory. Instead of seeing it as an embarrassment and failure, God showed me that by running alongside me through the remainder of the race, my earthly Dad was being an example of my Heavenly Dad. Just as my earthly Dad ran beside me to help me in my time of need – without any thought to what he was wearing (dress shoes!) or what any one thought – so my Heavenly Dad gives everything to help me as well. Both love me and believe in me enough to be right beside me.
And so, given the way God has orchestrated the circumstances of the past few days, I can’t not run. This is my opportunity not only to show my kids that I have the courage to try something I’m really afraid I’m going to be bad at, but also to remind myself that my God promises to be beside, before and behind me every step of the way.
And I’m happy to report that my neighbor and I set out last night on our very first run/walk. We walked and ran in short intervals and although the first run was particularly difficult and we were both tired, the second one was easier and we both finished the evening feeling pretty empowered.
And isn’t that the way it is with God as well? His presence empowers us … to keep pressing on, to do the hard thing when it’s asked of us, to lay aside our pride and try something we might not be good at, to be vulnerable in our relationships with one another, to choose joy when we’d rather curl into the fetal position and feel sorry for ourselves.
One step at a time… stride for stride… my God and I…
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. [Hebrews 12:1]
…journey to be continued…
[And no, the picture really has nothing to do with my story, but since this part of my journey begins in the fall, I thought it was appropriate! Change is in the air! And what’s a photo blog without a photo?]
